Sunday, March 20, 2011

Self-Interview

Self-Interview- German Vogue December 2010 – Asked by Sienna and Savannah Miller

My answers to the questions, translated from the German:
 
1. Is beauty in the eye of the onlooker?
>When beauty is talked about or discussed, yes, I suppose it is, 
because we all have different standards and measures and opinions about 
what we consider beautiful. However, I personally believe that all 
things are innately beautiful and if we were able to look at people 
with our hearts instead of our mind-with all of its biases, judgments 
and preconceived notions, then we could really see the innate beauty in 
everything rather than judging people or things as beautiful or ugly. I 
try to constantly check myself in this respect.

2. Is monogamy a necessary evil?
>If this is meant romantically, no. It is a personal decision for each 
person to make. I personally prefer monogamy, but I also believe that 
people are capable of loving more than one person. I just feel most 
happy and fulfilled when I am in a romantic relationship with only one 
at a time. But I also love several people immensely and deeply.
I have learned that just because two people love each other immensely 
and deeply, it also does not mean that they should be together. Two 
people need to be strong and independent in order to actually love each 
other. Past the honeymoon phase, once the veil is removed and 
individuality snaps back into place, THEN a real loving relationship 
can either begin to grow, or wither. It is the decision of the two 
people whether being together aligns with their goals, dreams, ideals 
as well as capabilities and limits. Practical realities. Falling in 
love is not real love. It can be the start to a loving relationship, 
but alone it is just infatuation.

3. Who or what raises your heartbeat?
> Anything I am passionate about. The ocean, good conversations, 
philosophical discussion, snowboarding, good movies or music, relating 
to people on a very deep level, falling in love, gymnastics, 
cheerleading, getting a good idea, sharing excitement, figuring out a mystery…

4. When was the last time you saw something so beautiful it brought 
tears to your eyes? Why?
> An album of incredible photos of sea life and of the planets and stars 
and galaxies in National Geographic online. 

5. Everything just coincidence? Or a question of destiny?
>I believe in destiny only to the extent that opportunities 
present themselves in concurrence with your own actions and decisions. 
I don’t believe in luck very much. You attract what you want by what 
you choose and what you do. Obviously there is a larger picture- people 
do not normally choose to be enslaved or abused or die in an 
earthquake; but I do believe that within our circumstances we do have a 
LOT of power to not control, but guide our life path. We all tell 
ourselves stories to live- whether we are religious or not- we all have 
reasons for living. I tell myself things happen for a reason, and I 
have faith in the universe though I might not, nor will ever know what the 
reasons are.

6. What must someone have achieved, before you consider him/her 
successful?
>I don’t expect a lot from people materially, but I have very high moral standards. By listing
these I do not claim to possess all of these qualities,  but I strive for them.  
Materially: Independent (support themselves)
Spiritually (mentally, emotionally, physically):
POSITIVE.
Authentic. (know who he/she is and is true to it)
Honest/trustworthy.
Genuinely loving (i.e. loves others for the pleasure of loving, not in 
expectation of reward, whether material, mental, physical or 
emotional).
Responsible. (does not blame others for one’s problems, feelings, 
actions, personal malaise)
RESPECTFUL of oneself and others.
Open (to all ideas, people, beliefs, possibilities)
Self-motivated.
Persevering (does not give up easily).
AWARE, educated or interested in the world around them and its people, 
cultures, etc. (as opposed to ignorant or uninterested in the truth)

7. Are you concerned about the theories and prophesies concerning the 
changes in the year 2012?
>Not really, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they were true, because as 
humans we still know very little about the universe. Take a cosmology class and see if
you don't feel like an infintesimal speck after one day. Especially in the 
west we have this problem. Material, militaristic or technological development does not rule 
out ignorance and definitely does not guarantee knowledge, education 
and awareness. I might have an army, but that doesn’t mean I know how 
to treat people, much less run a country.

8. What happens after death?
>Good question.
 
9. Do you know how to create an absolutely legendary marinade?
>Unfortunately not.
 
10. The best song of all time? (Yes, you can only name one.)
>Get back to you on that.
 
11. Which of your five senses could you not live without?
>It kills me to think about. Hearing. But if I volunteered to give up 
two I would say smell and taste. Touch and sight are also very dear to me.
 
12. The ultimate proof of love? 
>To reach true enlightenment/nirvana/heaven, like Buddha or Jesus perhaps. No idea, 
but I’d hope to know it when I see or experience it. 
 
13. Hot or cold?
>Hot tea, iced coffee.
 
14. If you could have one superhero power for a day, which would you 
choose?
>To beam myself to different places. I would surprise friends all over 
the world, go to places I might never make it to in my lifetime, and try 
to hug and smile at as many people as possible.
 
15. Is birth a magical act or a hellish ordeal? 
>Don’t know yet. 
 
16. How do you know you’re right?
>I don’t.
 
17. What’s the most important thing your mom taught you?
>You cannot change people, you can only change yourself. You can 
inspire or instigate change in others, though, which is how bad people 
turn good and vice-versa.
 
18. If you could start your life over, what would you do differently?
>I wouldn’t. I could fantasize, but I don’t think it will help me now. 
What I’ve done makes me who I am now, for better and worse.
 
19. Who is a hero in your eyes?
>My parents. Anyone who dares to genuinely love themselves and others. 
People who speak their mind. Nelson Mandela. People fighting for their rights, or others'. 
 
20. Do you learn from your mistakes?
>I try to, but I am no master.
 
21. Your greatest inner strength?
>Perseverance/Regeneration/Improvement. The power to heal, create and transform.
 
22. Is there something utterly unique about you?
>Yes. Not explainable in words.
 
23. Which laws have you already violated?
>Nothing heavy. I'm pretty vanilla.
 
24. What would you do if you could be invisible for a day?
>Dance around in the streets breaking all kinds of social norms. 
Or follow around people who inspire me and see what their daily 
behavior is like. Something better might come to me.

25. Someone gives you a credit card under the condition that you can 
shop in only one shop. Which would you choose?
>Trader Joe’s. Or the shop of an amazing clothing designer to dress 
me for life. But it’s hard for me to argue with endless free, quality 
food. It would depend largely on where I lived. If I lived in Europe 
I’d go with the clothing designer. If I lived in the US definitely food. 

26. Money or Love?
> Love.

27. Which dark secrets have you not yet told anyone?
>“Dark” tends to have the connotation of being evil or law-violating. I 
do not have any such secrets. But I do have secrets, or secret 
contemplations. All the time. I don’t always speak but the wheels are 
always turning. A few secret or not-so-secrets:
a. I like to get underneath things. I am interested less in what people do 
or say or wear or eat and more interested in the WHY and HOW of these 
things, and what they FEEL when they do these things. I want to know 
what underlies things. I am interested in what this means in regards to the rest of humanity, 
the philosophy of life.
b. I am not afraid to see what is behind things. I see through people’s 
social veils very quickly, for example, and often avoid superficial or 
negative or shallow people. I try to be open and give everyone a 
chance, however.
c. I believe people are fully capable of improving or changing, no matter how bad 
the situation is. But I also am very discriminating in terms of the 
people I surround myself with and who I devote my time and affection to.
d. In order to love someone else fully one must first love oneself fully. 
Anyone who thinks this is selfish doesn’t know what real love is. How 
can you love someone else if you do not know how to love even yourself? 
That is how sick relationships begin. There is also a large difference 
between loving a pet or a sport for example, and loving a human being. 
The level of maturity and spiritual development required to love 
another human being is not comparable to loving a pet or a hobby.
e. I often want to talk or discuss things others either are too afraid to 
discuss or do not know how to discuss. I often feel like screaming the 
truth in people’s faces. 
f. I want to enlighten people. But moreso I want 
self-enlightenment. How can I teach something I do not know?
g. I am highly interested in “truth,” whatever that may mean to different 
people. But the end goal is so that I can understand myself and others 
more and thereby love and help everyone more. 
h. I want to provide a positive light on this earth. There is enough negativity to go around already.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

The Seven da Vincian Principles

There are seven of them, but for now I'd like to focus on one:

Sensazion-- The continual refinement of the senses, especially sight, as the means to enliven experience.

I would like to continue with the theme of my past two posts and focus on the hearing sense. What better way to practice than through listening to music?

First, watch this: Local Natives: Tiny Desk Concert on NPR

Below, a couple recent, risible, delectable sound bytes.


SURF
Courtesy of a friend.
"California Sunrise" - Dirty Gold

 COMEBACK
Creative, lyrical, inspiring. Dre and Em do it again.
"I Need A Doctor" - Dr. Dre ft. Eminem and Skylar Grey

DANCE
On Replay:
"Bass Down Low" - Dev ft. The Cataracs

FOLK
Take a music bath in their song:
"Barton Hollow" - The Civil Wars

NOSTALGIA
Just to remind everyone how good Dean was.
"Ain't that a kick in the head" - Dean Martin.



FOLK
New tunage from the British Queen:
"Rolling in the Deep" - Adele 

Buon Appetito

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Theme Song 2011

Freedom is acknowledging the mask you have on
And possessing the strength to take it off. 


"Hold Your Head Up" - Macklemore

Hold your head up, there's a light in the sky
I know you're fed up, but you must try to survive
Each moment's precious, don't let life pass you by
Keep focused, keep your eyes on the prize

A friend of mine once told me
We have many paths in this journey
They act in different directions
So when you question don't be worried
It's not a wrong one
Beauty can be found in all of them
You'll meet people whose paths intersect
But you don't know how long you'll walk with them
Cos the truth is, and it's so hard, but you'll never know
How long we'll continue with our loved ones down this rugged road
The path veers and it's clear that we must steer alone
I've learned if you can't hold on to that moment that exists--
Let it go
Cos freedom is god
Freedom is acknowledging the mask you have on
And possessing the strength to take it off
Freedom is accepting every step of the path
And when it's hard having faith in the ability to embrace that
That's where you are
And this is it
The same shit that we work towards, but go against in the same sense
My friend hit me to some game and truth unravelled, she said
"the brighter the light, the darker the shadow"
And since i'm on cliche terms, knowing is half the battle
But i don't know
So i just go with what was destined
Life can be a burden or a blessing
The choice is yours to be connected
It's there if you want it, you got it, now let it

Hold your head up, there's a light in the sky
I know you're fed up, but you must try to survive
Each moment's precious, don't let life pass you by
Keep focused, keep your eyes on the prize

I feel like i have nothing to give right now
This is my trial, tribulations, and it must go down
But where's the up?
I'm stuck with the broken smile
No jokin' now, wantin' to grab a swish and 

smoke this out
The moment of a man choosing what path i will go down
Do i give in, give up, or get up and live right now?
With a split gut pick myself up and spit my style
This is the only thing that can hold my ground
You're born into this world alone and alone you'll go out
All i have is myself and everyone else i doubt
You can only trust yourself and depend on the help of the pound
Inside of the chest that beats with the breath of the now
No sunshine when she's gone, i can only see clouds
No homies can hold me down, the spirit's testing me now
But i can withstand this world, but it seems so foul
Flood of emotions, it's like i'm being held down to drown
Hell's right around the corner, but i can turn it around
You always have a choice, no matter the situation you're not bound
To nothing, no one, you're chosen for this job
This is your life, you can't escape this bitch when it's hard
Just know that it passes, but you'll collect scars
They never go away, but they will make you who you are
This is a beautiful struggle, i share it in song cos
I can't control this, remember: the moment's beyond us

Hold your head up, there's a light in the sky
I know you're fed up, but you must try to survive
Each moment's precious, don't let life pass you by
Keep focused, keep your eyes on the prize
And all my people say whoa.. whoa.. yeah
And all my people say whoa.. whoa..
C'mon
Hold your head up, there's a light in the sky
I know you're fed up, but you must try to survive
Each moment's precious, don't let life pass you by
Keep focused, keep your eyes on the prize
[one more time]
Hold your head up, there's a light in the sky
I know you're fed up, but you must try to survive
Each moment's precious, don't let life pass you by
Keep focused, keep your eyes on the prize

Saturday, January 22, 2011

"I learned from my teachers but became through my music" - Macklemore

On the first day of 6th grade, my music teacher passed out a piece of paper, a sort of syllabus, with the following quote:

I would teach
children music,
physics, and
philosophy, but
most importantly,
music, for in the
patterns of music
and all the arts are
the keys of learning.
-Plato

I have a hard time explaining what music means to me; when asked, I often offer Plato's words. My teacher was incredible; he still is. He taught that though one might not enjoy every type of music, one must learn to appreciate all types of music, otherwise one can never truly understand or love it. I stand behind this philosophy. I played clarinet in band and jazz band and sang in choir for the next four years, which included trips to Hawaii and Anaheim for performances, an award-winning, goose-bump-giving choir performance of Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody," a recorded duet of Mariah Carey's "Can't take that away" with my then-best friend, as well as singing in the memorial service of a close friend and previous music member whom I dearly miss. Though I eventually quit band and choir, music continued to govern my life, a constant, if invisible, influence. I switched from performer to full-time listener-critic-enthusiast. Saving me, driving me, inspiring me, I am as obsessed with music as ever. Here are some tunes of choice, chosen either for their lyrics, beat, melody, performance (i.e. emotion, dancing), or some combination thereof. Some are old, some new. Some are just fun. If you don't feel like sifting through, may I request that you listen to #1. for his lyrics and story, and to #9 for his moving performance. **Disclaimer: I listen to EVERYTHING.

In no particular order:
1. Macklemore - "The Town"
2. The Avett Brothers - "I and Love and You" 
3. Stromae - "Alors On Danse"
4. Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros - "Home"
5. Local Natives - "Wide Eyes" 
6. D-sisive - "I Love A Girl" (Grizzly Bear:Hijacked Remix)
7. Adele - "Hometown Glory" 
8. Kalyanji Anandji - "My Guru" 
9. Jeff Buckley - "Hallelujah"
10. Califone - "1928"
11. Paul Kalkbrenner - "Aaron" 
12. Manolo Garcia - "Pajaros de Barro" 
13. Azad - "Alles Wird Gut"
14. Jack Johnson & Ben Harper - "High Tide or Low Tide" 
15. Federico Aubele - "Postales"
16. Hilltop Hoods - "Recapturing the Vibe Restrung" 
17. Absolute Beginner - "Füchse" 
18. Blumentopf - "Block und Bleistift" 
19. SOJA - "You don't know me"
20. Asa - "Jailer"





Saturday, January 15, 2011

Reading List

As those of you who know me know, I'm a total closet philosopher. My obsession with philosophy, religion, nature, culture, has not gone on pause for a year while I'm here in Austria. Before leaving i sent myself two boxes of 25 books. My mission is to finish them before I leave. Seeing as how I keep buying new books, the list has fluxed to 29. Here it is.
  1. The Courage to Create - Rollo May
  2. The Wave: In Pursuit of the Rogues, Freaks and Giants of the Ocean - Susan Casey
  3. On the Road - Jack Kerouac
  4. Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert
  5. It's not how good you are, it's how good you want to be - Paul Arden
  6. What the Dog Saw - Malcom Gladwell
  7. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance - Robert Pirsig
  8. The Secret - Rhonda Byrne
  9. SAVOR - Thich Nhat Hanh
  10. How it is - V.F. Cordova
  11. Dark Green Religion - Bron Taylor
  12. Global Shift: How a new worldview is transforming humanity - Edmund J. Bourne
  13. The Autobiography of St. Teresa of Avila 
  14. The Spell of the Sensuous - David Abram
  15. Human Experience: philosophy, neurosis, and the elements of everyday life - John Edward Russon
  16. Awareness: the key to living in balance - Osho  
  17. The heart of Dōgen's Shōbōgenzō - Dogen, Masao Abe, Norman Waddell
  18. The Present Age - Søren Kierkegaard  
  19. The Ethics of Ambiguity - Simone de Beauvoir 
  20. Landscapes of dissent: guerrilla poetry & public space- Jules Boykoff and Kaia Sand
  21. The Road Less Travelled - M. Scott Peck
  22. The Upanishads - Juan Mascaró 
  23. Why I am so Wise - Friedrich Nietzsche 
  24. Radical Hope - Jonathan Lear
  25. The Way of the Buddha: The Illustrated Dhammapada - Rubin Museum of Art, F. Max Muller
  26. TAKU - Karen Bell and Janet Shelfer 
  27. The Bhagavad Gita - Juan Mascaró, Simon Brodbeck
  28. Salzburg für Anfänger - Herbert Rosendorfer
  29. Der Teufel von Mailand - Martin Suter
Last Read: #2, The Wave... by Susan Casey. HIGHLY recommended. Gave me goose bumps, made me gasp, and made me want to keep the ocean close. 
Now Reading: # 3, On The Road - Jack Kerouac.

'Nen guten Rutsch ins neue Jahr...

...Or in other words, Happy New Year! Apologies for the lack in updates. Busy busy busy. My first few months of teaching English have been a very good, impressionable, learning experience. I work at two Gymnasien or combination middle/high schools, outside of Salzburg. Key word- OUTSIDE of- or in German, auf dem Land. One is in Seekirchen am Wallersee, the other in Straßwalchen. The prior is the oldest Austrian settlement still in existence. The one involves an hour-long walk-bus-train commute, the other one an hour and a half, door-to-door. Needless to say, on days when school starts at 7:30, I hate life. On the positive side, the commute is through rolling, story-book-green hills (white with snow in the winter), with views of cows, llamas, deer and brown-black-white peaky mountains. The combination of schools culminates in me teaching 26 different classes in grades 6-12, working with 13 different teachers directly. I've managed to juggle it so far, though it gets overwhelming at times. I do love the work.
Some topics I've done (by choice, or required):
  • "Californication" by RHCP (commentary on Hollywood and its effects on the earth)
  • Mass Tourism/Environmental Effects
  • Party-Planning
  • Consumerism
  • World of Work
  • Hobbies
  • Holidays
  • Media/Censorship/WikiLeaks
  • Alcohol
  • Teen Issues US
  • Outerspace
  • Celebrities
  • Electronic Tagging
  • Intro to Global Warming 
The two most significant things I have learned are FLEXIBILITY and CREATIVITY. Not all kids learn the same way, so if one doesn't understand it this way, then you must try to explain it that way. And if he/she still doesn't get it, you need to use different words. Or talk slower. Or speak more clearly. Or translate. Or laugh it off. Humor is probably the third most-useful tool in the classroom after flexibility and creativity. Moreover, not all teachers teach the same way- which in my case causes more difficulty, because 13 teachers want it 13 different ways, when 1) I want to do it my way, and 2) It is hard to remember who wants what style. Keeps me on my toes. Dynamic and changing, the work itself suits me. It's exciting. I do not think I want to be a high school teacher. And I will never live so far from my workplace again. But for now I am thankful for the opportunity, learning what I can, and enjoying the ride.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

The Seal that (almost) sealed my fate

You’re probably all wondering what I’m actually doing with myself in Austria, aside from admiring the countryside and eating Mozartkugeln. Well, I’ll start from the beginning, which will take a few blog entries, so bear with me. 

I got up early on Wednesday, September 23, for 3 reasons:

Surfing

Goodbyes

Last-minute packing

Surfing: It started out well; I was the only one out and the water wasn’t quite as cold as it had been ALL summer. About 15 minutes in, however, while waiting for a wave, a harbor seal (the white ones with black spots) popped up about 10 feet away (it felt closer) and did what they always do, stared me down. It felt like a staring contest. See, the problem with harbor seals is, they are entirely unpredictable. Sometimes look, then swim away, sometimes they jump on your board, sometimes they chase you. So I froze, he froze, but then a wave came and I had to dive under; when I popped up, he was gone. Alone and not knowing which direction my new friend had gone in, I went for safe and paddled in like my life depended on it. I got to shore, turned around and said, selfishly, “are you happy now?” and plopped down on the sand looking for him. Of course, he was gone. He hadn’t wanted anything, was just curious. We often forget that big, living, breathing, sea animals are swimming below us in the murky dark green deep. So concerned with OUR territory and getting OUR waves, we forget we are in THEIR territory. The harbor seal that day was a good reminder of the nature that we should love, respect and consider, every time we paddle out.

Goodbyes: Afterwards I cruised over to D's, who greeted me with homemade granola from his fave bakery as a goodbye gift. Then met H. and W. at Starbucks around the corner for a farewell cup o’ Joe. I know I also said goodbye to someone else very important that morning, who I think stopped by my house, but for the life of me I cannot remember who it was. Forgive me; if you read this, you know who you are.

Packing: speaks for itself.